Excerpts from Students’ Science Exams

These are actual excerpts from student science exam papers:

1. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
2. Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.
3. The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.
4. Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
5. The dodo is a bird that is almost decent by now.
6. To remove air from flask, fill it with water, tip the water out, and put a cork in quick before the air can get back in.
7. The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
8. A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.
9. The earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
10. The cuckoo bird does not lay his own eggs.
11. To prevent conception when having intercourse, the male wears a condominium.
12. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
13. Parallel lines never meet, unless you bend one or both of them.
14. Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
15. Geometry teaches us to bisex angles.
16. A circle is a line, which meets its other end without ending.
17. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
18. The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.
19. An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a bull that gave a great deal of milk with a bull with good meat.
20. We believe that the reptiles came from the amphibians by spontaneous generation and study of rocks.