Internet Humour

This came off the Internet. It is reportedly notes written by staff on hospital charts.

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over the year.
2. On the second day the knee pain was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
3. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
4. The patient has been depressed since she began to see me in 1993.
5. Discharge status. Alive but without my permission.
6. The patient refused to autopsy.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
9. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
10. Patients medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 lbs weight gain in the past three days.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
14. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
15. The skin was moist and dry.
16. Occasional, constant in frequent headaches.
17. Patients was alert and unresponsive.
18. Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid.